Sitting there with a blank face obviously doesn't looks very attractive.

Mock exams almost over! Got a Maths exam on tomorrow and then an English on thursday yaaaaaaaay~

 Then, got a break for christmas, looking forward to that somewhat. I say somewhat because I don't really know what I'll do...not enjoying playing my instruments as much and although I've been playing videogames alot lately I mainly play them because I have nothing else to do after a while I just seem to look at the screen while not actually doing anything...blank faced. But i'm sure i'll find something that I enjoy doing over christmas. 

  Back to school though... I'm doing quite well, 11 A*-C forecasted! Been loosing my concentration lately with whats been going on with my brother and me just loosing the patience with all the stupid, inconsiderate, vain, arrogant, rude and just completely out of order assholes that go to my school. Hopefully I'll be able to concentrate more after christmas holidays. 

  Another thing i've frankly forgotten about lately is how happy my friends make me...I mean to be honest I do spend most of my time cheering them up or making them laugh but they tell me i'm good at it. Seeing them laugh just makes me smile and the way they treat me makes me feel happy too. I'm not getting anyone xmas presents this year, I owe my mum a bit of money and can't really get it together for then but one of my best friends said to me he was going to get me a present even if I don't get him one, he said he was going to get me Jaffa cakes and to be honest I didn't think he would. But he did and even though it was a small thing it made me smile. I had had a bit of a rough start to the day today and he kept going out of his way to make sure I was alright. I hope I make my friends as happy as he made me today. 

Rant over, enjoy your school life while you have it 'kay? 

Good.

Sweet dreams ~Nanashi. 

Quills!

I'm walking through a park with my boyfriend and his family. We notice that there is a nasty smell lingering around the park, but none of us say anything. After walking around for a while we stop to rest, in the exact centre of the park. We are surrounded by trees and I can hear water flowing not too far off...the smell is really bad here. 
  We notice that there are no animals in the park and I come to a conclusion that all the animals must have been killed, I then see dead animals around where we have stopped. But they aren't just dead animals...they've been organized into piles like 'dead rat heads' and 'dead rat tails' My boyfriends dad finds a pile of 'dead bird spines' and picks one of them up, it still has chunks of flesh clinging on to the vertebrae. He exclames to his two youngest daughters 'We can use these to write with ink! Quills! Use them as Quills!' the girls pick up one each and start waving them around. 'Quills!' they shout. Pieces of bird flesh fall to the ground. 


What do I think about before I go to bed? Someone told me that dreams are just your emotions that you experience throughout the day put into images...things that you haven't come to terms with or understood trying to sort themselves out.
I've been waking up alot during the night lately, always between 2 and 4 and then again at around 6. It wouldn't be so bad if I could get back to sleep relatively fast after I get up, but because I can't it leaves me feeling exhausted.
  Came home from school today because I felt rubbish in general. Headache, backache, neck ache, shoulder ache , blocked nose , sore throat and woman pains do not help with concentrating at school...so I came home. I'm going to get an early night tonight in the hopes that I can go to school tomorrow and concentrate on my art exam. Honestly, try to get enough sleep. It'll catch up on you in the end.

Sweet Dreams~ Nanashi.

A lucid dream.

I know i'm dreaming. So the first thing I do is make my way to the toilets of my school. I enter and splash water over my face in the hopes of waking myself up, dosen't work though. I hear crying behind me, there is someone else in the room, a girl a little younger than me. She tells me that she is dreaming and she wants to wake up so she is hurting herself with glass and lighters to wake herself up but It's not working for her either. I ask her to stop hurting herself because I'm in the same situation and there is no need to hurt yourself to do it. She does and starts to follow me out of the toilets but I do not see her again. 
  I try to tell myself to wake up because that has worked in the past but it won't work so I decide to make the most of my dream and have a look around. 
 My school hall is filled with tables and tables of food, (that kind of food that was on the tables in the Harry Potter movies) it all looks perfect there are crisps and packaged things there too, I grab a can of BBQ pringles  start eating them and carry on my way. The school seems to be empty all the classroom have no one in it  and I can't hear anyone either. 
 My right arm starts to ache and I feel pressure on the right side of my head I drop the pringles and try to feel where it hurts but something is blocking my way I can't touch it , or my arm. I then realize i'm half awake and tell myself to wake up.

Fuck it! I need to write some shit.

Once a week at least, I promise!...maybe, I maybe promise.
God I need to start this up again, I've got new followers!  Welcome! *motivated*
What should I write about?
1. Dreams/nightmares.
2. Things in my life that I like to have a one sided convosation about.
3. Everything else.
 Well this is going to go well :L

Sweet Dreams ~ Nanashi

3 week dream.

The sun sets on an empty house, I'm the only one who knows it's there. 

I'm falling. But a dream is all I get.

The house, is calling me. They're watching me.

Do I take the path? Don't hurt me.

But darkness takes every heart, dosen't mean I'm broken.

And let the blood, flow and I'm so confused so many things running through my head.

Am I missing something, or am I already dead? 

They asked me to make a choice but I...didn't know, what was the consequence if I didn't get it right? I ran away, filled with fright. Lost sight of the light. 

Look out for the broken glass, i've already got my scars. Your heart has been smashed, many times before. What am I here? What am I to you? Heavens knows I want the answer. 

Through the fire and it all, I lost my way.

 Didn't know which call would get me home safe.

But what have they made of me? 

With their hoods and their jewelry.

How can I go back when I don't know who I am anymore? 

They asked me to make a choice but I...didn't know, what was the consequence if I didn't get it right? I ran away, filled with fright. Lost sight of the light. 

My brother is the biggest idiot on this planet...but I love him.

I'm going to talk a little about dreams tonight, but I feel I need to talk and tell a story i've told many times lately I feel I need to explain something and try to get things of my chest. I just want to write it all down. I suppose I'm going to be Mickiililly for tonight, she writes to get things off her chest, explain things, ask questions she writes them on her blog too.  Right...

 My 14 year old brother is the most annoying person in the world. He trips me up for no reason, shouts at me, takes the TV remote of me and uses a hose to 'wash my bedroom windows'. He hurts me, punches me, kicks me...and I hurt him back. Sometimes I wish he would just leave the house for a long while. You know, give me some sort of peace.

  A couple of weeks ago he was taken to hospital, his neck was twitching badly and he couldn't talk during those twitches. I wasent there when it started I was at my boyfriends house so my mum called me and told me what was happening. I was worried and scared but I thought that it couldn't be that bad. So I went to my Nan's to sleep but ended up walking back to mine at 1am. When I got up in the morning he came back and I saw how bad it actually was. He was continually twitching and It panicked me to see him like that...it looked like he was having a fit.
 He went in for countless amounts of tests but they all came back negative, nada...nothing. They couldn't explain why. We had a feeling it was nerve damage. The week before he got into a fight at a local fair. A boy came up to him drunk and told my brother that he had wanted a fight. Punches were thrown and my brother tried to walk away but this other boy grabbed him and shoved him down to let about 8 people kick at him while he was on the floor. That night he came back fine, went skating the next day.
    After a while he got a lot better. Not better as such but he got used to them. He went back to school for a day, but a teacher told him that he should go to a disabled school. But he seemed to get better and better. The twitches where still there I could see that but he was talking through them more clearly he wasent jerking that much.
   Last week he managed to knock himself out twice in one night. He stabbed himself in the head with his house key causing him to pass out. He smashed a pint glass over his head (which didn't knock him out) his forehead is scratched up now. And he smashed his head against his bedroom wall. He has a phobia of the hospital and he went missing in another town for a while. The doctors say it's now pointing towards epilepsy. He passes out on his own now falls down slightly and stares into nothing sometimes. Right now he's trying to speak to my mum but shouting because his twitches are getting bad because of the stress. He has to go to the hospital tomorrow for (hopefully) more tests. As he has a phobia of the hospital it's really stressing him out and making him worse. It's really hard for me to listen and see him go through all this and I can't imagine what he must of been feeling these past weeks.
 He's being really strong for us. He afraid, we can see that, but he's being so strong. And I do feel bad when I cry about this I can't help it. He's my little brother. My 'baby baba' as I used to call him. And If something was to happen to him I really don't know what I'd do. But he'll be fine. He's strong, so strong.

But anyway...
Last night I had five dreams in one night! Five!! New record :D
Most of them didn't make too much sense to be honest and I woke up not very refreshed. I suppose that's what I have to pay for a vivid imagination. Not too much right?

Sweet dreams ~Nanashi.

     

Sleepfull-less Nights and Dreams after Dreams.

*yawn*
 I'm tired almost all the time at the moment, not gonna lie have been wondering why considering I get the full 8 hours a night sometimes slightly more.
 Yesterday I had a nap at my boyfriends house and I talked to him (in my sleep). Can't remember what he told me I said, but afterwards we came to the conclusion that I can't be in a deep sleep if I'm talking or remembering dreams. Which means i'm practically half awake for most of the night so I don't get the right amont of sleep. Nights where I havent had any dreams I wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed, but in the morning after a night of dreams i'm groggy and grumpy.
  Sleepfull-less Nights.
Also I've been getting dreams after dreams... Lets say I have a dream about a naked cut up girl walking towards me with a broken piece of mirror in her hand with the intent of mutilating and/or killing me.  (yes, one of my resent dreams) After I have the dream It will go black for a little bit then I'll be in my boyfriends room telling him about the dream I just had, just as I would if it were in real life. So I wake up confused. Have I actually talked to anyone about it yet? Then I realize Nah, Dreams after Dreams...'tis all good.
It's almost 11 so imma get to bed for a half nights sleep.

SweetDreams Nanashi~

What have people done in their sleep?

I've walked out into the garden once and just stood their for half an hour. I've started to make myself dinner, I've hit myself in the face, I've hit others in the face, bruised myself and talked. Many people sleep soundly, the occasional dream but not much else. In that way I can call myself kind of special.
   But others have done things that can put my antics to shame. It's amazing that some people can do things in their sleep that they would never do in their waking hours or end up doing something outrageous and not remember it at all.
   It's amazing how the human mind works without us knowing it.
 I looked up some crazy things that people have done in their sleep on the internet and it surprised me with how people could do these kind of things without realizing.

  A fifteen year old girl from England climbed to the top of 130ft crane in her sleep. She was found at 2am where firefighters asked her parents to wake her so they could get her down safety.

 An Australian woman would sleepwalk out of her house at night and pick up complete strangers and then have sex with them. Her husband found out when he saw used condoms around the house. He followed her out at night and caught her having sex with a man she did not know and found that she was still asleep. The part of her mind that stops her from moving in her dreams wasn't working properly so she would move alot in her sleep.

  Someone in the 1900's got out of bed and walked to his in law's house. When he arrived he strangled his father-in-law into unconsciousness and stabbed his mother-in-law to death afterwards. He was not found guilty because he was asleep and did not remember doing this at all after he woke up.

People have also conducted, driven, swum, emailed, scoffed themselves and jumped out a window in their sleep. About 10% of people actually sleep walk but only a few of them actually do something extremely out of the ordinary in their sleep.
  Hopefully nothing happens to me tonight!

SweetDreams! ~Nanashi

Have you ever thought: 'Fuck this shit'?

I have many times. Call me lazy and what not but sometimes I just don't want to try anymore. I can't deal with this lack of sleep at the moment, I don't want to see this dream anymore. I think I've had enough.
 I can't function properly in school and I'm scared to close my eyes. It just feels so fucking real.
I'm not going to describe the dream by the way as it's quite personal but... I don't like it, don't want to see it, once was enough but 3 times already?
 In the Disney film 'Cinderella' there is a song with the name 'A dream is a wish your heart makes' Fuck that shit also. My heart must be so messed up to wish these sorts of things. 
 Rabbit girls, White halls with fire, death, water darts, amnesia, monkeys, funerals, internal bleeding, blue roses, guro, helicopters, icecream, motorbikes, blinding, piano, suicide and drowning. Wishes? Some maybe but not many.

Sweet Dreams ~Nanashi

Feel Neglected?

I've flown a helicopter into a clothes line, beaten up 3 boys who thought they could steal some ice cream from me, seen things that I would never want to see again, driven motorcycles that are far too small for me, been blinded by bleach, went to a pub to listen to piano, saw someone I don't know jump of a cliff to commit suicide because 'it was safe' and watched cats slip around on some ice and then drown. All since the 23rd of May. At night of course, in my dreams. And I'm sure there are plenty more that I can't remember.

I'm sorry blog. I've been neglecting you.

I've been paintballing, video gaming, sleeping, eating and rain walking in my real life. Not as exciting but I think I prefer it that way. As I've said before my dreams feel very real. I usually wake up in a panic and that lasts for about 30 seconds to a minute and then I realize...'Dream...' And relax a little. I should have gotten used to it by now but they seem so real that it's hard not to panic. Ive been going to bed later and later and getting up earlier and earlier, taking naps during the day. I have school tomorrow...aha should be fun!
  Anyway. Not much else to say really...so I'm off.

Sweet Dreams ~Nanashi